One Month

With one month left to go in school and of my degree I’m starting to lose motivation.  I just don’t care anymore.  In the next 2 weeks, as classes wrap up, I have a number of group projects and presentations but I haven’t been putting my best effort towards making sure my part of the project is done.  I do parts of it, but its never the finished product when I need to report to my group. 

Part of it is because of this weather – such a little thing, but it has always had an effect on my mood.  All this rain is pretty depressing, and with the majority of my classes in the evening, it gets dark before I even leave my apartment!  Its ridiculous and I end up losing any type of motivation to even go to class.

Others say maybe its because after this next month I face a whole lot of uncertainty, of not knowing where I’ll be headed next.  I don’t think I’m that scared of the future.  When I came back from Europe without a co-op job, I was freaked out of my mind and didn’t know what I was going to do with my empty months.  But now, faced with another uncertain block of time, I’m confident that I will find something interesting to fill my time – just like I did earlier this year.  And its not to say that I don’t know what I’ll be doing.  There are a number of opportunities I’ll currently following up with and I have a number of ideas in my head which is reassuring.

Now the main thing is getting through these next few weeks, trying my hardest to study and do well in my final semester.  This laziness, the unwillingness to do anything and, in general, just not caring, is a completely 180 degree change from the beginning of the semester, when I was really excited to go back to school and to learn.  I’ve never felt this unmotivated and uninspired before – I hope I snap out of it soon.  Its like pulling teeth trying to get things done.  What happened? What changed in me?