Fate? Coincidence?

I recently watched 500 Days of Summer – such a fantastic film. Watching it I was convinced it was Canadian, from the music used and the offbeat feel of the movie, but no, its US made. Its classified as a romantic comedy, but its not a love story. There are definitely hilarious moments, some awkward moments, but its definitely one of the better movies I’ve seen lately.

Near the end of the movie, the narrator says this:

You can’t describe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence, that’s all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence. There are no miracles. There is no such thing as fate. Nothing is meant to be.

That got me thinking. Is everything that happens in our lives just coincidence? Just by chance that certain events came together at the same time to change the course of our lives? Or is it fate? That it was meant to be and that no matter what we did, the same outcome will still occur?

Are we in control of our own destiny? Of what we want to do, of who we meet?

What if I never joined AIESEC? My life would be very different from what it is now. What if I didn’t go to school in Victoria? Again my life would be vastly different. These past decisions have contributed to who I am today and these decisions have determined the people I associate with and have provided me opportunities that, had I made different decisions, would not be open to me. In saying this, I think we are in control of our own course in life – but only to a certain extent. By joining certain organizations and associations, by deciding to go to one school over another, you are bound to be exposed to certain types of people and certain types of situations that you find appealing as an individual. But you’re not in control of other people’s decisions to join those same organizations and the people you meet can just be the results of coincidence.

But then what about “gut feelings”? What if your decisions aren’t made from rational decision making and just followed your instinct and what you felt was the right choice. Does that make it less in your control and more to fate and coincidence?

These are bigger decisions. What about just walking down the street? Going for a cup of coffee? Are these things coincidences or are they determined by fate? I can’t see myself really being in control of the situation – of who I will and will not meet on the street, but my decision to walk down a particular street or enter a particular coffee shop – does that not put the situation back in my control?

Its in my nature to believe that I’m in control of where I go and what I become, of who I met and what I do. However, the more I think about it, I’m really only in control to a certain extent. Through my decisions, I can guide "fate” towards something that may think I like, but until it happens I won’t know for sure. And it is just by chance and coincidence that certain opportunities open up when I’m walking past… Its up to be to seize those opportunities and make what I can of them.

EDIT - I found this quote from Grey's Anatomy that summarizes some of my feelings:

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true. (Grey's Anatomy)