Bitterness

I’ve been away from home for about 6 weeks now and I think some of the realities of living here are starting to set in. I spent the past weekend feeling pretty bitter and sorry for myself. The biggest thing that set off this gloominess is the heat. Over the weekend it was at least 36 degrees on both days. We don’t have air conditioning – in fact, as far as I can see not many people do. I really have no idea how people deal with the heat and still manage to go about their day to day lives. I spent the whole weekend in front of my fan. It was too hot to move and definitely too hot to step outside. To make matters worse, our fridge, our very tiny fridge, has decided to stop working properly. My flatmate’s milk and meat have all spoiled. My theory? We only have a tiny fridge to share amongst the four of us meaning the fridge is stuffed to the max. The cold air can’t move around it properly which means food at the front of the fridge is not cooled properly. We have someone coming to take a look at the fridge, but to be honest, we just need a newer and larger fridge.

I’m frustrated by many things:

• I still haven’t been paid yet. I’ve been here 6 weeks. I was suppose to be paid on the 1st of July, but my bank account remains stubbornly empty. Rent is due sometime this week. I’ve run out of money. I’ve been living on pasta, bread, eggs and canned corn.
• My debit card hasn’t arrived either. Even if I do get paid, I can’t get any money out because I don’t have a debit card. I’m sure I can bring my passport with me to the bank to get money out, but that means I will need to bring someone that can speak Hungarian with me to translate. I really hope it hasn’t gotten lost in the mail.
• Things here are expensive. I bet a number of people, thinking that Hungary is in Eastern Europe, immediately assume that things are priced at a much lower point than neighbouring countries in the West. However, this is not the case. Yes, rent is drastically more affordable, but for the most part, everything else is about the same price as back in Canada. Food is slightly cheaper, but given the salary that the average person earns, purchasing power is drastically reduced compared to home.
• I wish I could speak Hungarian or at least be able to understand a lot more than I do. I feel like in the few weeks that I’ve been here I've picked up a lot already, but this language is impossibly difficult to pronounce and they have accents up the wazoo.
• My roommate broke my rice cooker and I won’t be able to get another one till September at the earliest when I have family friends visiting. I'll have to figure out how to make rice on the stove (something I’ve never done). Rice goes a long way in me keeping my happiness. You have no idea. Not being able to have easy access to rice has increased my bitterness.
• My flat has so many problems with it. The poor excuse for a kitchen is so tiny and so ill equipped. We don’t even have proper pots and pans – the non stick is falling off everything. I don’t have the money to purchase new ones. And there is the whole fridge problem. Whenever I go grocery shopping I can never buy too much because there is nowhere to put it. We have a tiny freezer so I can’t even buy frozen food. I don’t have time to go shopping everyday for food. Food makes me happy. Eating well makes me happy and this kitchen just isn’t doing it for me. I am seriously considering moving. Or if I buy pots and pans, I would feel ridiculously selfish not letting anyone else use it (I really don’t want anything else of mine getting ruined).

I know I can’t expect to live the way I did at home, but I’ve just been really frustrated with a lot of things and they’re all piling up. I think once it cools down some (and by cool down, I mean to less than 30) and once I get paid, I’ll feel better. Not having any money sucks. I need to figure out a better way of managing it too.