When you’re the boss you have no one to turn to with your problems. Things have been rather stressful for the past few weeks since the previous head teacher left. With me taking on more responsibilities and trying to train a new member of the management team its getting a bit intense. Not to mention arranging for new teachers to come and getting new contracts all set up. Its all getting a bit much and while I trust my decision making, sometimes I wonder if I’m making the right decision at all.
I’m stressed out about what I’m going to do. I’m going home for sure. But then what? Stay in Vancouver, come back to Budapest, move to Toronto? London? I don’t know. I can’t make up my mind. Europe or North America? I wish I could just make up my mind and start planning a course of action, but there are too many factors. Too many things to think about and I can’t stop thinking about it. I try not to dwell on it. Trying to live in the moment, but its just so hard. I want to know what is happening now!
I’ve started a list of things I want to do in Hungary before I leave. I’m pretty sure I that is the best course of action. If I come back, it would be for all the wrong reasons. All my friends have left and I’d be only returning because it is comfortable.
Lately life has been like walking on eggshells. I never know what will set me off. I get irritable easily and I’m almost always exhausted from the day. I want it to stop. I want to go back to my bubbly self.
Work is such an uphill battle and it seems more things are going wrong than right and I don’t know if I have the energy or willpower to fix it and make it work. There are so many things against it and I’m so ready to give up the fight. But when you’re the boss, its best not to let these feelings show. I really have no idea how my boss managed this before me. But I guess its his business – so he really had no choice. It HAD to work. Sigh.
0 comments:
Post a Comment